


old scars & future hearts

by itainthardtryin



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fluffy Angst, Princess Mechanic, i am emotional!raven trash, kind of non-explicit smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 22:47:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6303187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itainthardtryin/pseuds/itainthardtryin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from a friend - Raven takes her hair out of her ponytail every time she's about to have sex with Clarke, and eventually Clarke gets turned on every time she takes her hair down, regardless of where they are. Modern AU. (Finn's death is a major theme.)</p><p>(This is my first princess mechanic fic, pls be gentle)</p>
            </blockquote>





	old scars & future hearts

It’s not that Clarke’s easily turned on. Well, she is, but that’s not the point. The point is that Raven has fucking _conditioned_ her into jumping straight to dirty thoughts every time she takes her hair out of that goddamn ponytail.

Clarke should have expected it really. Since the first time they hooked up, Raven’s always insisted on having her hair down. “I feel more naked this way,” she told Clarke in a husky whisper when she asked why. And really, who is Clarke to argue with that. She wants Raven as naked as she can possibly be.

At first, she thought it would be an inconvenience, but seeing Raven’s hair fall so haphazardly over her shoulders and down her back is one of Clarke’s favourite sights. And don’t even _start_ her on how much she loves feeling it tickle a trail down her body as Raven moves to where they both need her the most.

But the thing with getting off to your girlfriend taking her hair out of a ponytail, is that after a while, it becomes involuntary. And Clarke finds that out the hard way.

It’s been a year since the shooting, and Raven’s made as good a recovery as she possibly can, but she’s still attending outpatient appointments. Taking a bullet to the spine doesn’t come without consequences. Clarke makes it to every appointment, and today is no exception. She walks into the room holding Raven’s hand, and honestly, it’s as much for her own sake as Raven’s. Sometimes she just needs to have that contact, especially in scenarios like this, just to remind her that Raven is still here, still breathing, still alive.

She watches as Raven undresses to put on the hospital gown, and that’s when Clarke realises the problem. When Raven undresses, she takes her hair down too. And Clarke can’t help but think about the nearest wall, and how quickly she can pin Raven against it. “Babe?” Raven says in confusion. “You okay?”

Clarke shakes herself out of it and brings her mind back to reality. “My mind wandered somewhere it shouldn’t have. I’m- I’m fine.” She’s not convincing in the slightest, and Raven knows her well enough by now to see right through it.

“You’ll tell me later,” she says.

“If I’m lucky, maybe I’ll _show_ you later,” Clarke mumbles under her breath as she watches Raven leave the room for her scan.

 

//

 

They get home later that night and Raven forgets to ask so Clarke doesn’t tell. Instead, she whispers Raven’s name like a prayer, and worships her body like a temple.

 

//

 

The next time it happens they’re flying cross country from NYC to LA. Octavia and Bellamy have invited them to stay for a week, and both Clarke and Raven jumped at the chance to escape the hustle and bustle of the city for a while. They’re three hours into the flight and Clarke notices Raven fidgeting, constantly moving her head trying to find a position that’s comfortable. Clarke’s about to tell her to quit it when Raven reaches up and pulls her hair tie out and lets her hair cascade down over her shoulders.

Clarke’s breath hitches, and her hand involuntarily finds Raven’s leg. Raven catches her eye, and the unspoken agreement passes between them. Clarke nods as Raven gets up and makes her way to the bathroom. She watches her walk down the aisle, counting in her head so she doesn’t make it obvious. A minute passes, and she follows in Raven’s footsteps. A gentle knock on the door is all it takes for Raven to pull her inside.

It’s their first time doing it on a plane, and honestly, Clarke cannot get enough of it. The lack of space means their bodies are sandwiched together, and moving around is a little difficult. But having Raven’s chest pressed against her own and feeling her fingers wander under her waistband in the tight space between them is driving her wild. “You drive me crazy,” Clarke tells her breathlessly. “When you take your hair down, I just want to-”

Raven cuts her off with a kiss. “Show me,” she says, looking straight into Clarke’s eyes as she finally touches her. Clarke’s knees almost give in but she just kisses Raven as deeply as she possibly can. The noise of the engines acts as a welcome cover for the soft moans she makes; she’s thankful she doesn’t have to be completely quiet.

“If I knew taking my hair down got you going this much, I’d never wear it up,” Raven tells Clarke as she falls apart.

 

//

 

The worst time it happens though comes a month later.

Finn dies. Clarke is devastated, but she can’t even possibly begin to imagine how Raven must feel. They grew up together, he was her family. Before Clarke, he was all she had. And now he’s just.... Gone.  

Apart from when she initially found out, Raven hasn’t cried. She hasn’t gotten angry. She hasn’t shown any emotion, and that scares the _shit_ out of Clarke. Even now, at his funeral, Raven is stoic and emotionless, and Clarke wonders if she’ll be the Raven she knows ever again.

They get home and Clarke feels like she’s walking on eggshells around her. She should know what to say. She knows Raven inside out. Clarke can calm her down, she can comfort her when she cries, she can lift her up when she’s disheartened. But this goes so far beyond any of that and Clarke doesn’t know what to do. “Hey, babe,” Clarke says softly. “I’m gonna make some coffee. You want some?”

“No,” Raven replies quietly. She takes off her black blazer and hangs it on the coat hook. Clarke’s heart breaks with Raven’s every move. She wants to help her, she wants to see that spark in her eye again. But Raven just seems hollow. Tears start to form in Clarke’s eyes, but then Raven reaches up and lets her hair down. It falls so beautifully over her shoulders, the tips slightly curled, laying over her black dress.

And it’s as if it all makes sense.

Clarke takes a few cautious steps forward and wraps her arms gently around Raven’s waist from behind. She feels Raven immediately tense up, but after a few seconds she relaxes into the feeling of being held. Clarke brushes the hair away from Raven’s neck and presses gentle kisses to the bare skin she finds there. Clarke almost smiles when she feels Raven tilt her head to the side, allowing her better access.

She feels Raven’s hands on top of her own where they rest on her stomach and the touch almost like she’s been set on fire. They stand like that for long moments, Clarke kissing along Raven’s neck as gently as she can. She can feel Raven’s chest rise and fall, and she strokes Raven’s hand gently with her thumb.

The touch seems to wake Raven up, and she turns round slowly, making sure to keep her hand firmly in Clarke’s. Her eyes are wet and her face is pale, but Clarke thinks she’s the most tragically beautiful thing she’s ever seen in her life. Raven swallows to steady herself. “He’s gone, Clarke.” It’s a whisper but it seems louder than anything she’s ever heard before.

“I know,” Clarke says. A few tears start to silently make tracks down Raven’s cheeks but Clarke never breaks eye contact. She’d wait forever like this, for Raven to find some sort of peace again, to look into her eyes and see that life come back. Raven searches Clarke’s face for something, Clarke doesn’t know what - home, maybe? - and she must find it, because Raven leans in and her lips connect with Clarke’s.

She’s had Raven in almost every way possible. They’ve had drunken sex where clothes are discarded without care, they’ve had lazy morning sex where Clarke watches the sun rise on Raven’s skin afterwards, they’ve had sex in the dead of night laced with quiet _I love you’s._ But Clarke has never experienced something so _intimate_ as this moment with them both fully clothed, in the middle of their kitchen, Raven pressing a closed mouth kiss to Clarke’s lips. She feels it on every inch of her skin, she can feel the weight of Raven’s pain and gladly takes it from her. In return she hopes Raven can feel just how much of Clarke’s heart she takes up.

It escalates quickly after that. The quietness passes and gives way to desperation. Raven clings to Clarke like she’s the only thing keeping her afloat in a stormy sea. She can’t get enough of her, even when Clarke is pressed against every inch of her, she still isn’t close enough. “Raven,” Clarke says pulling away slightly, as Raven still desperately clings to her. “Raven!”

Her eyes open. “Please don’t leave me,” falls from her mouth in a broken whisper.

“Never,” Clarke reassures her. They reconnect their lips and Clarke knows that this is where her future lies. Right here, in love with Raven, keeping her promise.

 

//

 

A week later, Raven lets her hair down and Clarke’s heart skips. It used to turn her on, but now? Now, it reminds her of that night, how pure her love for Raven is, how she never, ever wants to let it go.

The ring in her pocket weighs heavily against her side, and as she looks at Raven smiling back at her, she knows she’ll never have to.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading! I appreciate all comments and kudos, and if y'all have any prompts you want filled my ask is always open @hartooo on tumblr :)


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